great post about the necessity of letting go of harmful relationships.

The Hurt Healer

goodbyeoneLooking to the start of a new year can be exciting. It can be the time to plan ahead, and dream of good things to come.

But to make way for new beginnings, it’s important to let go of anything that is going to hinder or harm you. Nobody has an infinite amount of physical time, or emotional energy. So it makes sense to use what we have on relationships that will benefit not drain. That are reciprocal, not a burden.

We all have relationships in our lives that come to a natural end. For whatever reason our contact with that person has run its course. We move on without a sense of loss or pain.

But there are other relationships that we cling to. Or we continue to involve ourselves in, with the hope that there will be a shift in commitment, interest or behaviour. And it’s those interactions…

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Source of Inspiration

silent treatment

Stonewalling can be a cruel
and passively-aggressive act.
People who purposely try to
derail a conversation by not
responding or by changing
the subject are disregarding
the feelings and needs
of another person.

It is better to say directly
that you do not want to continue
the conversation, at least at
this time.

Open communication that is
respectful opens opportunities
to exchange and know another
better. It is a loving way to be.
The “Silent Treatment” is
never silent. It is emotional
abuse at its lowest form.

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The Apology

The power of a sincere apology is transcendental. It kicks off a transformation; a release of pain and burden that has twisted the person whom you have wronged. S/he suddenly becomes more free; more her/himself; more whole.

If you have wronged someone, apologize…out of respect, for yourself and the other.

The Power of Apology – The Health Benefits, etc.

The Apology

How to Apologize Effectively: Responsibility, Restitution, Repentance

How to Apologize to Your Partner

The Power of an Apology to Experience More Loving Relationships – If You Did Something Wrong, Apologize

My Top 10 Ways to Atone

Raised Right – The Apology in a Nutshell

Private vs. Public Apologies – How Not to Apologize

Social abusers in polite society…

Honest Ergaster

We’re in Primal World: the tribe is sitting around the camp fire at night, talking about the day’s hunting and gathering. Brork is staring longingly at Uggup’s woman, so Uggup takes his club and gives Brork a good poke in the chest. Brork gets the message and the others have a good laugh. Uggup has made his point, and the social boundaries are confirmed.

Later in the evening Mongg fondles the breast of Tirrow’s daughter. Tirrow immediately swings his club and cracks Mongg on the head, knocking him senseless. The crowd cheers in approval. When Mongg comes round, he mutters an apology, and the clan knows there is little chance he will try that again. The social boundaries are drawn clearer still.

We’re in Modern Civilized World: a group of friends has gathered at their favorite pub and restaurant.  Ronald leaves to go the toilet, and Anton returns from the…

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Reducing Substance Use by Reducing DepressionPeople who have problems with substance misuse often have other mental health challenges. Depression is a commonly co-occurring psychological condition among individuals with substance use problems. Although it has yet to be determined if substance use precedes depressive reoccurrence or depressive symptoms precede substance relapse, it is well known that these co-occurring conditions (COD) are more treatment resistant and result in poorer outcomes than having one condition alone. Research suggests that cognitive behavioral therapy is an effective approach for reducing depressive symptoms. Therefore, Sarah B. Hunter of the RAND Corporation in Santa Monica, California, theorized that addressing depressive symptoms as part of a substance use treatment plan could minimize negative moods, which would reduce the need for negative coping strategies such as substance use.

Hunter and her colleagues administered 16 sessions of group cognitive behavioral therapy for depression (GCBT-D) to 140 individuals being treated at an inpatient facility for

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