Source of Inspiration

silent treatment

Stonewalling can be a cruel
and passively-aggressive act.
People who purposely try to
derail a conversation by not
responding or by changing
the subject are disregarding
the feelings and needs
of another person.

It is better to say directly
that you do not want to continue
the conversation, at least at
this time.

Open communication that is
respectful opens opportunities
to exchange and know another
better. It is a loving way to be.
The “Silent Treatment” is
never silent. It is emotional
abuse at its lowest form.

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Emotional Vampires

How to Fight Back Against Emotional Vampires

by Joanne Richard

Vampires just don’t come out at Halloween.

Emotional vampires are lurking everywhere – at home, at work, parties, the gym…

From belittling bosses to nit-picking spouses to hyper-needy friends, they suck all your energy and “leave you feeling depleted, depressed and sabotaged,” says Dr. Judith Orloff.

……

Intentionally or not, these emotional leeches often make us feel depressed, defensive, angry and wiped out, says Orloff, author of Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life (Harmony Books).

Negative behaviour is their MO, stresses Debra MacLeod, relationship author and expert. “Emotional vampires – also called toxic people – are more devoted to the dark side. Totally self-absorbed, they rarely acknowledge or apologize for their inappropriate behaviour. If they do, the apology is insincere or meaningless.”

….

Protect yourself, stresses Orloff, or risk unhealthy fallout, including overeating, isolation, mood swings or fatigue.

“These difficult people are often attracted to people with big hearts who don’t know how to set boundaries,” says Orloff, of Drjudithorloff.com. ‘No’ is the stake in the heart. They’ll move on and find other possible prey.

These master manipulators look for weaknesses in their victims to prey upon and exploit.

According to MacLeod, guilt, jealousy, anger, condescension, fear or manipulation is often used to get what the emotional vampire wants.

FULL ARTICLE

Happy Halloween

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Emotional Purification – A Meditation

Try this to get rid of emotional aches and pains:

  • lie down comfortably and imagine that you are lying in the middle of a stream
  • see the water flow around and through the center of your body
  • as it flows through you, see it taking away debris, little by little
  • do this for 10 minutes or more
  • you can add whatever other calming imagery you like (sunny meadows, tree tops swaying gently under a breeze, birds flying in the sky…), but always return to focus on the water flowing through you
  • add gentle music; maybe, something you know calms you or sounds of water flowing.

Another good place to do this meditation is in the shower.

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plenty of reasons to be grateful…

voluntarily broke

it’s my firm belief that gratitude is one of the most powerful forces in this world.  sometimes it’s the only saving grace we have when things feel harsh or worn-out.  some people don’t take the time to consider why they’re lucky, especially if they’re feeling particularly unlucky- which is the most necessary time to do it.  there have been numerous articles about gratitude and its impact on your physical and emotional well-being (here is a link to one published in the Harvard Mental Health Letter).  in a sense, gratitude really can help you fake it until you make it- by considering the positive side of your life, you change your attitude and your life, in turn, begins to change as well.

having lived in poverty for a long time, i am always reevaluating my circumstances and trying to check myself about the things i complain about.  today, while…

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TED Talks

Two of my favourite TED Talk speakers:

Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor

Stroke of Insight

Dr. Brene Brown

The Power of Vulnerability

Listening to Shame

 

Related: I am Enough, Start Empathy, The Definition of Courage and the Power of Vulnerability, How Vulnerability Leads Us to Freedom

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Neuroplasticity and Meditation

The more you think about things, the more you think about things.

Introduction to NeuroplasticityDr. Rick Hanson – You Can Change Your Brain, Meditation Hope for Mental Health, Meditation Changes the Brain, And Relax…..Why Meditation Could Boost Your Health, The Neurobiology of “We”

Changing Your Mind – A CBC Documentary 

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Go ahead, let go of all that is negative and let your vibrations rise…even if you don’t believe in the law of attraction, it’s healthy to be positive…. Bob Proctor on “The Secret” – The Law of Attraction in a Nutshell, “The Secret” on OprahMartha Beck’s theory on how the law of attraction may work, Let the Law of Attraction Work for YouThe Vision Board; A great read re: the law of attraction: “Excuse Me Your Life is Waiting” by Lynn Grabhorn

shanaslifeguide

You know what’s really awesome?….

When you are scurrying around, your insides filled with anxiety, your mind filled with pictures and moments that involve another, and while the wheels are turning and your body is reacting, you suddenly stop. You stop and actually realize that you are allowing your self to follow each thought filled lead to another matching thought and another, and you have put yourself in a state of worry-filled emotions over something that doesn’t even involve you. You understand that you are letting your ego lead you, lead you to actually worry about what another person is going to think or may be thinking at that very moment and because you know that we make up in our minds what another may be feeling or thinking (because we do NOT know), you suddenly just STOP. You release your imaginary hook that another has put on you and…

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