How to Slow Down Time

Another year over and you’re wondering where the time went? Well, although we can’t turn back time, here are a couple of tips on how to keep it from picking up speed as it goes by.

timeby Ronald E. Riggio, Ph.D

Why is it that time appears to go more quickly as we get older?

There are some recent books that tackle this psychological issue, and while there are a number of theories, the best explanation is that novel experiences seem to slow time perception down. Repetition of events seems to make them go faster…

I have written about time perception before, and readers have proposed some competing theories. One popular theory maintains that there is a sort of mathematical formula going on that divides our lifetime. As an 8-year-old child, a year is one-eighth of the lifetime – a significant (and memorable) portion; as a 50-year old, it’s only one-fiftieth. But that theory assumes that our brains work like computers, storing every single bit of information, like a filmed, life-long documentary. But that’s not how the brain works.

Perception and memory psychologists argue that memories are a social re-construction, not a literal record like computer files. Not every memory is stored as a distinct event, and the vast majority of our memories of places and times are not accessible.

Here’s [an] example: The first time you drive to a distant locale, it seems like it takes forever (remember that first weekend getaway, or commuting trip the first day of the new job?). As you repeat the drive, over and over, the time flies by, and you can’t recall any specific trip, unless something “memorable” happens. A really long traffic jam; a fender bender; etc. Or, the first day of a two-week beachside vacation seems to go on and on, a long, and enjoyable experience (“Wow, I’ve got two whole weeks of this!”). But before you know it, your packing for home.

So what is the key to time perception? Routine makes time go faster, unique and memorable events slow down time. Although there is comfort in routine, it does make time fly. So, if you want to “slow down” time… change the routine. Create unique experiences for each one. You can also engage in greater mindfulness – focusing on and savoring each passing moment. The old adage of “live for the moment” is the key to slowing down those quickly passing years.

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How to Tell a Leap of Faith from a Stupid Decision

by Martha Beck
Some psychologists classify every emotion as either love (attraction) or fear (aversion). It’s not unusual for humans to base almost every decision on fear: fear of rejection, fear of poverty, fear of looking dumb, and so on. But after coaching thousands of people, I’ve seen that fear-based decisions lead to hollow victories at best, endless regret at worst. Only love-based decisions create lasting happiness. That’s why the accountant—oops, make that poet—Sara Teasdale advised, “Spend all you have for loveliness, / Buy it and never count the cost.” I’m with her all the way. Loveliness—emphasis on “love”—is the only thing worth buying.

Now, discriminating between fear-based and love-based decisions can be confusing, because leaps of faith are frightening even when the choice to make them is based on love. (Just because you really want to have a baby or run your own business doesn’t mean going into labor or launching a startup isn’t terrifying.) You can gain more clarity by getting into the habit of imagining the choices you’d make if you had no fear—of failing, of losing, of being alone, of disapproval. Take a minute now to practice: What clothes would you wear tomorrow if everyone were sure to approve? What music would you listen to today if nobody else were around—not even in your mind? What books, movies, or food would you enjoy if no one ever judged you?

Going to a fearless place in your imagination will show you clearly which decisions still have fire and energy, and which lose steam without anxiety as their fuel. The former are endogenous—meaning they arise from your inner essence, not from external pressures—and they’re the foundation of every great leap.

Love-based choices have one more quality their fear-based counterparts lack: They’re enduring. And in this way, they make us behave like heroes—at least the kind of heroes you find in epics like The Odyssey or The Lord of the Rings. Scholars have broken down the type of story known as the hero’s saga into standard parts, beginning with the hero’s feeling a “call to adventure.” The next step is the “refusal of the call,” wherein the hero says, “Excuse me? Do I look stupid?” and goes on with normal life. Or tries to, anyway. But the calls won’t stop. The same is true for any leap worth making. The calls keep coming, tapping us on the shoulder, chirping, “Hello! Me again!” until we either give in or start drinking cough syrup straight from the bottle.

In your case, the call may be a historic role model you can’t stop wanting to emulate. Or an “unattainable” purpose or profession that tugs at you like a magnet. Maybe you have weird premonitions of living in Sasquatch country (see you here soon!). If following your heart’s desire seems crazy but not following it is becoming more and more difficult with every passing week or month or year, your choices come down to taking a leap of faith or living with the regret of never having tried. Wouldn’t you rather jump?

FULL ARTICLE

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Good advice.:)

Live Fully Studio Blog

Sometimes my clients tell me that they feel anxious. When I ask them if they know in what part of their body they are holding the anxiety, they usually don’t know. It’s very common that we feel anxious or stressed but don’t know how to locate how we are holding onto it in our bodies. The next time you feel anxious, use the following list to see if you can identify where you are holding onto the anxiety and try your best to release it. Over time you can identify the particular ways you hold anxiety in your body, catch yourself doing it sooner, and soften with more ease.

Is it your eyes orforehead?
When we are anxious or worried we often frown, pulling our forehead into a squint or pinched position. You might experience headaches because of this.

Remedy:
Make an effort to close your eyes for a…

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Emotional Vampires

How to Fight Back Against Emotional Vampires

by Joanne Richard

Vampires just don’t come out at Halloween.

Emotional vampires are lurking everywhere – at home, at work, parties, the gym…

From belittling bosses to nit-picking spouses to hyper-needy friends, they suck all your energy and “leave you feeling depleted, depressed and sabotaged,” says Dr. Judith Orloff.

……

Intentionally or not, these emotional leeches often make us feel depressed, defensive, angry and wiped out, says Orloff, author of Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life (Harmony Books).

Negative behaviour is their MO, stresses Debra MacLeod, relationship author and expert. “Emotional vampires – also called toxic people – are more devoted to the dark side. Totally self-absorbed, they rarely acknowledge or apologize for their inappropriate behaviour. If they do, the apology is insincere or meaningless.”

….

Protect yourself, stresses Orloff, or risk unhealthy fallout, including overeating, isolation, mood swings or fatigue.

“These difficult people are often attracted to people with big hearts who don’t know how to set boundaries,” says Orloff, of Drjudithorloff.com. ‘No’ is the stake in the heart. They’ll move on and find other possible prey.

These master manipulators look for weaknesses in their victims to prey upon and exploit.

According to MacLeod, guilt, jealousy, anger, condescension, fear or manipulation is often used to get what the emotional vampire wants.

FULL ARTICLE

Happy Halloween

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In case you missed this on Freshly Pressed…hilarious ways to stop jerks in their tracks…

I Miss You When I Blink

Let’s tackle an issue everyone has to deal with sometime: Jerks.

Whether it’s the guy at work who lords his higher spot on the totem pole over everyone else, or the girl who gossips loudly about other people, or perhaps the meat-head who makes fun of a shy person with a lisp. Assholes are out there. And they always will be.

It’s best to be prepared.

I don’t like confrontation, so believe you me, I’m not recommending we get up in the face of every jackass who says or does something mean. In fact, the key to these moves isn’t direct conflict at all. It’s all about understatement. The idea here is to throw the person psychologically off balance with weird, quiet, out-of-context reactions to their bad behavior. Even better, do it in front of a crowd, just to make the meanie extra uncomfortable.

* * *

1. Shhh…

I…

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