The 3 reasons for communication breakdown: aggression, repression and denial….

marrymeknot

What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.

~George Levinger

In Psychology Today’s July/August issue, an article called, Advance Warning, discusses why sometimes even couples who seem happy often still end up getting a divorce. Author, Mary Diduch, says UCLA researchers tracked couples for 10 years and found certain patterns that lead to divorce were present from the beginning. Negative characteristics such as: aggression, anger and contempt can sometimes outweigh the the positives: commitment, lack of stress or strengths in personality.

Diduch notes that in the beginning of a marriage, the good times are still outweighing the bad, until eventually, communication breaks down. Three main reason for this: aggression, repression and denial.

Aggression in seemly healthy couples may just boil down to the lack of controlling our tempers. (The article points to husbands, but I…

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More great tips for relationships…

Xperiencemagazine

We all have heard about the ‘honeymoon phase’ that occurs in every relationship. Everything is new, fresh and exciting and we just can’t get enough of it, until it fades. It seems that everyone has just accepted that things can’t always be that fun as the years go on in a relationship, but why not?

If you want a relationship that always feels fresh, new and exciting the main component needed is EFFORT. Yes at first all these wonderful feelings come because technically everything is new, but when things get old how can you still hold onto the romance and the ‘spice?’ The answer is effort.

Couples united need to make a conscious effort to continue these good feelings and I’ll explain how easy this can be. Sure we all get comfortable and enter a routine, but conscious efforts can shake this up.

As in my previous post about ‘a…

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Keeping your romantic relationship happy

Relationship Games

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” Winston Churchill (British Orator, Author and Primes Minister during Wolrd War II. 1874-1965)

Life is too short to care about troubles. You just need to live up to the hilt!

From time to time each relationship faces problems. At this stage it is very difficult to find something good and believe that bad things will disappear. For example, you can have bad thoughts about your mate during the conflict or you might get the idea that you two are too different and there is nothing to do about it. All of this feelings and thoughts can cause more problems or even a break up.

Despite all the difficulties, couples should think positively. Positive thinking solves plenty of your problems and improves your psychological wellbeing.

Here are four steps how to think positively in an…

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The pros and cons of long-term relationships…

Headless


I was in a restaurant abroad with a group of girlfriends, some old, some new when the subject of partners came up. Only one member of the group knew I’d been in the same relationship for over fifteen years, since the age of 18. The reaction of the others was unexpected. There was a unanimous dropping of jaws, followed by ‘you poor thing’ and ‘why?’

Fortunately I have a sense of humour and found their responses hilarious, but it got me thinking. Is monogamy the Holy Grail or as my friends saw it, a crying shame.

As a female growing up in Trinidad, I found the whole marriage thing very confusing and contradictory. At school, the pressure was on to study and to avoid the opposite sex. The same pressure came from my mother whose only desire for me, it seemed, was to have a career, and not get pregnant…

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A few bits…

…from Oprah.com

Improving Communication in Marriage

Sex and Religion

Mental Health and Pregnancy

Meditation on Forgiveness

Helping Children Deal with Tragedy

Coping with a Long-term Illness

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